We live in a world where we don't talk, we text. We don't have lengthy conversations, we write 140 character 'tweets' that describe our day in a play by play fashion. Social media has added a whole new dynamic to our everyday lives, and it hasn't been around that long, so we are still wading through all the changes it has caused in our personal relationships. I am definitely not a social media hater at all, I am very active on Facebook for my personal and professional life, I write a blog (whenever I make time), I creep on Twitter, and I get inspiration on Pinterest. But here is the thing about social media...IT IS NOT REAL LIFE! It is a soapbox...you can make your life appear to be anything you like!
Most people, myself included, paint a rosy picture on the internet. We post pictures of smiling faces and flowers on date nights, but the keys stop clicking when our husband forgets our anniversary or comes home late one night and forgets to call. I am not in any way saying that we should bash our husbands on the internet, but I am saying that when you aren't having the best day or your marriage is going through a rough spot....don't look to Facebook for comfort! It will only make you feel worse because all your girlfriends are obviously married to Prince Charming, which obviously isn't true.
Ex's are probably the biggest lurking danger of social media. Before the social media world invaded our life, ex's could be safely tucked away into fading memories and it was easy to pretend that they had just fallen off the face of the earth. Social media reminds us that our ex's are still in fact living people. With the mutual friends that are obtained in a dating relationship, it is hard to completely avoid an ex on the internet, but there are steps that can be taken to ensure that this happens almost never.
First and foremost...DON'T BE FRIENDS WITH AN EX ON FACEBOOK OR FOLLOW THEM ON TWITTER! Just don't do it...even if you say nothing bad is going to come of it...nothing good is going to come of it either, so just don't play with fire and leave it alone. Do not interact with an ex on Facebook, at all! Don't look at their profile picture, don't message them, nothing. Also, be completely transparent with your spouse when it comes to social media. Share passwords and allow your spouse to log on to any of your accounts whenever they would like. Some married couples even have a joint Facebook page, which can be very beneficial because this also keeps certain unwanted people from contacting you, because they know your spouse will see it.
Although social media can be fun and beneficial, it's not always the best thing for a marriage. When we allow ourselves to get wrapped up in our online lives, even innocent
interactions can divert our time and attention. It's essential that we guard against distractions so that our spouses never have to wonder which 'friend' is the most important. Sam
This is the devotional that Brady and I are reading during 2013. I am a huge fan of the "I am Second" movement and I love watching the videos on their website. In 2012 Brady and I didn't read any devotional, we just read our Bibles every day. A few weeks before Christmas as Brady and I were driving to church with JR and Dustin we asked them if they had been reading their Bibles lately...JR replied no, and he didn't even know where his BIble was at the moment. When asked why he wasn't reading, he simply replied that he didn't even know what to read or where to start. I can definitely relate to the feeling. After that conversation I really felt like we (Brady and I and the boys) needed something to supplement our Bible reading in 2013. One day while I was traveling for work, I sneakly swung by the Christian book store and picked up three copies of this bad boy...one for Brady and I to share...and one for each of the boys. Even though they are twins and they live together...I figured I would be nice and not make them share =) We are really liking this devotional so far. Since we have been on vacation we have been reading it at all different times of the day, but we are going to start reading it in the morning, which I am pumped for, because I can't think of any better way to start our day. Through 365 daily readings, the book challenges readers to imagine what thier life would be like if they put Jesus first. The book has some really neat features that aren't offered by any other devotionals that I know of? It is split into 12 sections, and each of those sections is split into 4 or 5 weeks that dig deeper. So every month there is a main topic, and every week there is a sub topic that helps you dig in deep. I love it! The overall topic for Janurary is Discover God and the 5 subtopics are; Perfect Ruin, Abraham, Coming Hero, Firstborn, and Death and Life. Each day's reading is centered around a key Bible verse, but the book promts you to read the whole passage from your own Bible. The book also leads readers through talking with God, practicing what you have learned, and even sharing what you have learned through social media. If you want to purchase "Live Second" you may do so by clicking on the picture of the book cover. If you want to learn more about the I am Second movement, then click here. Are you using a devotional to supplement your Bible reading in 2013? If yes, what one are you reading? Sam
2012 was a wonderful year where Brady and I really got settled into our marriage and learned what it means to "do life" together. Some of the 2012 highlights include... -an awesome trip to Arizona for our 1 year anniversary -getting a young marrieds small group off the ground -spending many fun weekends at the lake -2 weekends in Batesville visiting Ertel Cellars
-feeling much less green and much more confident in my job as a crop insurance agent -getting some new blood into the Tipton County Young Farmers Group -becoming members of Rock Prairie -even with the horrible drought, the farm had one of its most successful years ever -a fun trip to the Smoky Mountains with some great friends -watching JR and Dustin get baptized -remodeling our guest bathroom-being a guest at the Great Banquet -joining 'The Best Book Club Ever' 2012 wasn't all sunshine and rainbows though, and this is something that I struggle with when it comes to social media. Whether it is Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, or on Blogs...it just seems like everyone has this perfect life, when in fact that just isn't true. I am guility of painting the perfect picture on the internet also, because who wants to share the bad stuff? That is also my number one reason for not blogging as much as I would like to...I don't want my blog to be a "brag rag", but I also don't want it to be "Debbie Downer Down on the Farm". It is tough finding a good balance. Some of the harder parts of 2012 have been...staying strong in my faith no matter what the circumstance, shining the love of Christ towards the boys even when I just want to give up on them, some days of our marriage definitely aren't ideal, and our dogs are constantly destroying things. I made some resolutions in 2012 that I blogged about here. Overall, I did a really good job keeping them. Brady and I did read the Bible in a year, we followed a Chronological reading plan and it worked really well for us. We would read together in bed every evening, sometimes out loud, sometimes to ourselves, or sometimes we would listen it together. I did mail at least two cards a month...I love getting mail, therefore I like to share the love! (and I got some really cute Vera Bradley greeting cards that just begged me to mail them). I did not blog twice a week...so many excuses, but they are all excuses...and excuses are like buttholes...we all have them and they all stink. I also did not research one topic a month, I feel like I was constantly learning in 2012, but it wasn't in an organized fashion. I do have one main goal for 2013... get more organized in our personal finances! Ever since we have been married, Brady and I have tried lived on one income. Right now we are DINKS (double income no kids) but it is not going to stay that way forever. In the future when I am a stay at home mama we will have 3+ people and half the money. We have always tried to live well below our two incomes in preparation for that day. We did an okay job at this in 2012...there were definitely times when we were poor planners and we had to dip into our second income. We also majorly flopped when it came to our budget. We spent hours setting up our budget, but then we just tracked our spending and never became disciplined about it. Things are going to be different in 2013...I have revamped the budget and we are going to stick to it! We operate on a "zero" budget, meaning that all the money that comes in, has a designated place to go. The first thing that happens with our paychecks is tithe, 401k, and taxes...and after that we use the money for our monthly expenses, having allocated amounts designated for things such as; mortgage, groceries, pet supplies, clothes, entertainment, etc. I used to have our budget on an excel spreadsheet..today I converted it onto my Google Drive so that Brady and I can both access it from any computer. 1 goal this year...that's it. Pray for us =) Sam
June is upon us, and when you are 24 years old that means that you will be spending many of the upcoming summer weekends attending weddings. Some people don't like this because it takes time away from summer projects, you have to travel, and newsflash...weddings are not cheap to attend. At the least, you have to spend money to get a nice gift...lots of the time you have to travel far which means gas money and shelling out some dough for a hotel room. Also if you are in the wedding party you can just forget about it...this means you have to chip in for the bachelor or bachelorette partiy, pay a couple hundred bucks for a dress or tux that you will only wear once, and a lady can easily pay over $100 to get hair and nails done. But you know what...all this is so fine with me because...I LOVE WEDDINGS!
I love the love that is in the air, I love seeing old people dancing, I love the glow of the newly married couple, I love the decorations, I love the toasts, I love having an excuse to get all dressed up...weddings are great!
All this wedding love has caused me to reflect on Brady and my special day...which was already almost a year ago.
Some of my favorite memories from that day are...almost throwing up and passing out before walking down the aisle (wasn't fun at the time, is pretty funny now), being super surprised when Pastor Tim said "Brady you may now kiss your beautiful bride" and Brady french kissed me for a very VERY long time...haha did not expect that one, whispering with Brady as we danced to our slow song "Crazy Girl" - Eli Young Band, surprising everyone when my dad and I broke it down on the dance floor for during the usually very boring Daddy Daughter Dance, singing "Fancy" with Megs as loud as we could into our sparkly microphones...just like at our apartment except for one minor difference =), and riding home in Brady's truck...it was just like the millions of other times we rode in his truck chatting and holding hands...except I was wearing a wedding dress! The wedding was a wonderful day...but marriage makes a wonderful LIFE! Sam
No we aren't having a baby...but I do love freaking everyone out with titles like that! Maybe some rumors will get started? I am referring to my monthly research topics. January was marriage and February is babies...Godly marriage and natural childbirth to be exact. I have learned a lot about marriage and I am exited to learn about birth next!
I learned a ton about marriage in January and I don't even know how to put it into words (this explains why I haven't wrote a blog about it yet). But a couple things I learned are below. I used books, blogs, podcasts, and my life experience as a wife as my resources =)
-The best kind of marriage is one where the husband and wife are best friends with eachother
-A husband's role in marriage is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and a wife's main role is to respect her husband Ephesians 5:33
-Our spouse is to be our second priority after Jesus and our relationship with him, then kids come third, and career and everything else comes after that
-The bedroom is a sanctuary for the married couple...this means no television, no work, and no stress
-Make time for eachother to go on dates, talk, make love, and jsut enjoy eachother's company away from the craziness of everyday life
I have so many things to say that I can't even organize my thoughts...all in all marriage is awesome, it is hard work, and it is the most rewarding and special relationship with another human being on this Earth.
Well I am rambling...but get excited to hear a ton about babies this month! I have already read one book so a review of that will be coming up real soon!
Until then, Sam
For the month of January I wanted to learn more about marriage and being a Godly wife. For those of you who don't remember, one of my 2012 resolutions was to research one topic a month...you can read that blog post by clicking here. A couple days ago I finished reading "Love & Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. I enjoyed this book, but didn't completely love Emerson's writing style. If I had to you tell what I thought about this book in one word it would be overrated. This is a book that tons of Christian couples have read and recommended, and I have even been told by multiple couples that it was this book that was the curriculum for their pre-marital counseling. The whole book is centered on Ephesians 5:33 where Paul writes "Each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband". The book talks about how women have a huge desire to feel loved by their husbands, and men desire respect from their wives. The book goes even further to say that husbands should give their wives "unconditional love" and wives should give their husbands "unconditional respect". Unconditional love...we have heard the term, read the term, and seen the term a million times in books, ads, and chick flicks. But unconditional respect...sounds weird. Isn't respect something that we have to earn? Emerson says no. I agree and disagree. I agree that many women are too overbearing, bossy, and disrespectful to their husbands. But if my husband was some low-life, wife-beating, cheating jackwagon then he ain't getting no respect from me! Good thing Brady is amazing and nearly perfect =) The words unconditional respect sound like an oxymoron to me...but maybe I am wrong, and it just sounds weird because this isn't ever a term we hear in society. But right there in Ephesians 5:33 God clearly states that a wife must respect her husband. Period. That's it. It doesn't say respect your husband only when he deserves it. If God says it then it has to be right...so I have a lot of work to do in this "must respect my husband areana". Good thing the only person I must respect is Brady...and my elders...is that in the Bible? Sometimes...okay pretty much all the time...it can be difficult being a respectful wife in America. We see TV shows that completely disrespect men as fathers and husbands...think Homer Simpson. And there are many men who aren't fulfilling their roles as spiritual leaders in their homes, instead they go to the office and work 40, 50, 60+ hour work weeks and then come home and don't connect at all with their wife or kids. Women only fuel this fire because we live in a country of overbearing feminists who have their own money, have their own job, their own friends, and their own life. God calls us to be united as one in marriage. This means one bank account, one house, one bed, one heart, and one sex partner. God never makes mistakes, His ways are never wrong. In fact, His ways are always perfect. So join Brady and I as we strive to have a marriage that makes God smile every day. Back to the book though...I liked it, didn't love it. I would check it out from the library but not buy it...but if you do want to buy it, then just click on the picture of the book above and it will take you to amazon where you can purchase it new or used. I have started reading Mark and Grace Driscoll's new book "Real Marriage," so expect a review of that in a few days. And at the end of the month I will recap all I have learned about marriage! Thanks for reading and sorry I kinda jumped around! Sam
There are days when we can't even handle two dogs, and I am on the verge of giving one of them away. I hope I never want to give one of my kids away...even though I am sure it is a good possibility. Having the dogs gives Brady and I a little taste of what it will be like to have a baby...even though we won't just kick our baby outside in the snow to take a dump =)
But in all seriousness, dogs are a huge responsibility! You have to feed them - make sure each dog is eating his own food, bathe them - this usually consists of me in the tub with Gus wearing a bathing suit and Brady playing defense on the outside of the tub making sure he doesn't jump out, give them toys to chew to deter them from eating things like blinds, furniture, and doors - yes Gus has destroyed all those things, give them flea, tick, heartworm meds, get them a babysitter when we are out of town...yada yada yada.
Well now with our newest addition to the family comes another challenge...doggie potty training. Gus was trained when I got him and I didn't realize how amazing this really was. Dale is pretty good but he still has a few accidents in a week...and they are always on the carpet!
So on to the part about why we aren't ready for kids...this weekend Brady was out of town with his man friends and I was here in good ol Sharpsville, IN with my girlfriends. Brady and I both had super fun weekends with our old college buds but after a couple days apart we were really missing each other and couldn't wait to be reunited...for multiple reasons =)
Well the girls had all left and after a little snooze on the couch I was up and trying to get everything spic and span so my hubby could come home to a stress free, clean house just like he left it. Well Dale crapped on that plan when I was napping...literally. I walked into the dining room and there was a little goldmine just waiting for me in there...ugh. So I showed it to Dale, yelled at him, smacked him on the nose, and put him outside. Then I proceeded to clean up the mess. As I was cleaning it I didn't notice that Dale left a secret little turd a couple feet away from the original crime scene and I stepped in it...on our nicest rug, wearing my favorite slippers.
Fast forward a couple hours...Dale has just been outside with Gus running and playing in the snow for about 40 minutes...so surely he has gone to the bathroom right? Wrong. He came back in the house and five minutes hadn't passed and I see him squatting on the same nice rug starting to take a huge crap. I picked him up while he was in the act, did the yelling/smacking routine, and was livid! Not only did he crap on the rug twice in one afternoon...but he interrupted my TurboFire time with Chalene. As Stephanie Tanner would say, "How rude!"
At this point Brady was less than an hour away, and my excitement to see him had been replaced by feelings of murder towards Dale. So of course I texted Brady to tell him how mad I was, how he better get here soon before Dale gets turned into a puppy bomb (Krista, Megan Erica, Brittany, Chelsie...hope you read that, haha), how if Dale isn't a perfect dog just like Gus then we are getting rid of him in a month, etc.
So what I did was let Dale's crapfest, turn Brady's homecoming into a crapfest. There was no passionate kissing and or can't keep your hands off each other sexy time becuase we have missed each other so much moment...there was stress, silence, and angry feelings towards each other and Dale.
I can see how easy it is to make mistakes raising kids because I have made plenty just being a fur baby mama. I have a favorite dog...*cough cough* Gus. And the biggest thing I see is that when either dog does something bad it adds stress to our home and puts strain on the marriage relationship.
Needless to say we all kissed and made up, we forgave Dale and decided to be better trainers for him, and we did have our can't keep your hands off each other sexy time later that evening.
Until next time, Sam
2011 was honestly the best year of my life. I got engaged and married the the most wonderful man I have ever met, we waited till our wedding night to make love (best thing I have ever done), we went on a honeymoon to Hawaii, we bought a house, and we remodeled that house. Yeah...you could say it was a pretty big year. So now I am sitting here thinking, how are we ever going to top that?! Well we are going to work hard in growing our love for one another and in Christ every day. Our wedding day wasn't the end of the road for us, it was just the beginning and we have so much to learn, so many places to go, things to see, and so much growing to do in many areas of our lives. For those of you who know me well...you know that I am a planning/list/post it note Nazi. So I made a list of resolutions in the beginning of December. I heard from a friend that "Writing down one's goals and dreams makes them a priority. Sharing them with others makes them possible." So this is my way of sharing my resolutions, I hope everyone who reads this will keep me accountable. 2012 Resolutions
1. Read the Bible in a year. Brady and I are doing this together. We are following a chronological reading plan that goes through the Bible in the order that the events happened. We are both using the New Living Translation. 2. Mail two cards a month. Getting mail that isn't junk or bills has always been very exciting to me, so I want to share the love. Thank you cards, birthday cards, and Christmas cards don't count. 3. Blog twice a week. Get excited to read =) 4. Research one topic a month. Every month I am going to pick a subject that interests me and devote the entire month to learning more about it. I will read at least one book, and also try to use blogs, podcasts, and articles. At the end of every month I will write a blog post about what I learned. Some topics I am planning on researching are vitamins, natural childbirth, and coupon clipping. This month I am going to be focusing on how to have a Christ-centered marriage and how to be a Godly wife. I have started reading Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, I will be reading the God Centered Marriage blog, and I also downloaded a few podcasts today. I can't wait for 2012 to unfold and I am so anxious to experience all that is ahead. Sam
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